The Minimalist Mindset: Why Giving Up Everything You Have is Not Enough
Although minimalism as a movement is still somewhat new to me, the idea of simplifying my life has been a theme that has followed me throughout my adulthood. I’ve gone back and forth on the “stuff” spectrum, even contemplating many times throughout the years just dropping out of society and traveling around the world with a backpack. Sometimes politics or bureaucratic nonsense would get me so riled up that I was sure the exile lifestyle was where I was headed. But recently, during one of my rants about the evils of commercials and how holidays like Christmas have been used to trap us into more bondage and dependence on stuff, my daughter said something to me that made me re-think my indignant attitude.
After reading her Christmas list to me for the umpteenth time and having me tell her that she shouldn’t focus so much on getting gifts because the holidays are about love and spending time with the people you care about, my daughter said “But Mommy, what if that’s the way that Santa shows his love? Shouldn’t we just let people show their love the way they want to?
Now, some may simply call what she said a 6-year old’s manipulation game, but I saw the pure innocence in the question. What became crystal clear to me at that moment was that vilifying all material desires wasn’t going to necessarily teach my kids the importance of finding value within yourself instead of externally. Ultimately, it’s not the stuff that keeps us from being free – it’s our relationship to the stuff.
My desire to drop out of society or trash the systems that don’t make any sense to me was an attempt to free myself and live life on my own terms, but the fact is that I am where I am for a reason. There are lessons for me to learn and gifts for me to give in this place, in this time, in this incarnation. Just because I don’t agree with the way that some people live or the societal systems that are in place, doesn’t mean I have to escape from them. What if, instead, I learn from and accept the values of others, even when they are different from mine and then proceed about the business of living my life in a way that reflects my beliefs.
Following the Herd
The conversation with my daughter also led me to reflect on a conversation I had several years ago with a friend of mine. We were talking about when we both first became aware of a lot of spiritual principles via books and tapes, primarily from Deepak Chopra. “Oh, man” said my friend, “You were SO annoying!” Since this was his first time saying this to me, I was a little miffed, but wanted to know more about why he thought such a thing.
“You were constantly talking about Chopra’s stuff, like a parrot. You just wouldn’t shut up! And when I put my 2 cents in, you kept telling me how I had it all wrong. You kept telling me how to interpret things like you would.”
Oh yes, I remember those times well -- when I thought I had all the answers. I know that many of us latch on to an idea that we feel so passionate about that we begin to insert a righteousness into the idea. But the whole point of freedom is to allow things to be what they are, without judgement, because when we start placing conditions on worthiness we become trapped again.
I keep referring to a tiny little book I read many years ago that keeps yielding such great moments of clarity for me. It’s called “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment” and as you can probably glean from the title, the gist of the book is that living with unconditional love is not difficult. It just takes the realization that you don’t need anything but your awareness to tap into it.
Leaving the “Stuff” Behind
Do I still want to be a minimalist? YES! But I realize that de-cluttering my closet and my house, in itself, is not going to change my life. Taking those actions are steps that will help support my desire to live more simply and focus on the things that really matter to me. The truth is, however, that I could be walking around with nothing but the clothes on my back and still be angry and judgmental.
It’s not the stuff. It’s not the stuff. It’s not the stuff.
It’s you. It’s me. It’s awareness. It’s non-judgement. It’s love.
And I don’t need to get rid of one single thing to be reminded of that.
